So my sister is looking for a tumblr girlfriend…I feel like I am making a craiglist for her, but I trust you guys aren’t going to kill her! But I think she’s ok with rape in a dark alley…just kidding. Please be nice to her! (Also she will kill me if she finds out I did this… I just really want her to meet someone nice she can talk to!)
Send her a message
I would love to hear all about your Christmases!!!!!!! What all did you get? Was it good? Did you have a ton of yummy food? Was it spent with family?
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you! I miss everything we were. You were the one person I never had to pretend around. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have you back in my life. I need you right now. Unfortunately things change, people change and we can never be what we once were!
I’m suppposed to be editing photos right now…but I am bitchy. My music library has disappeared and I need tunes to edit to. Plus I just woke up in a bad mood. For those of you who read my post the other day about being positive…I really am trying, but when you wake up and the first thing you are greated with is crappy unhappy people makes it pretty darn impossible to be happy…
Just to wrapped up in my own head to focus on work. But I need to get these photos edited because it is my business and its my reputation and image on the line.
Doesn’t help that I dislike the photos. I don’t feel like they are my best work. But I did nothing wrong. I did what the bride wanted and shouldn’t beat myself up about it.
I have to change my life. I am very negative and depressed. I quite frankly hate my life.
But I woke up this morning ( feeling like hell due to my health issues) and said I’m going to do my best to be positive and happy and thankful for the good in my life. Opposed to focusing on all the bad and stress.
It was going well. I was smiling, jamming to my radio, flirting with my boyfriend, and basically feeling ok ( still not happy, but hey it’s a start right?).
Then I talk to my mom and my dad ( who also happens to be her boss) does a complete asshole move and I have to listen to her complain. And her complaints are valid, it was a completely mean nasty thing to do and I don’t know why she gets picked on like that at work. I guess cause dad doesn’t want to seem like her favors her because she’s his wife but he goes over board. Like if I had a boss that treated me the same way he does her I’d quit. But back to my original topic, I was doing good at trying to change my attitude and then I get thrown into negativity.
Then I talked to my sister who complains that my Nana is being a bitch. Which she ALWAYS is. I can’t stand the woman. But once again, more negativity.
So now in the span of 3 hours I went from being somewhat positive ( at least trying my hardest to be happy) to just blah and angry and all those negative things again.
So how do I get myself more positive and work on being happier ( for my health and mental wellbeing) when I’m surround by negativity all the time?
I’m so mother fucking sick of people telling me that I need to de-stress and stop worrying about things!!!!
Well thanks for the fucking advice, how do you propose I do that?! You think I LIKE being stressed out of my effing mind? Oh it’s bad for my health you say? No fucking shit!
I’m sorry that I have royally fucked my life up! I know I’m bad with money, I’ve honestly been trying to budget and not spend it but it just doesn’t seem to work. My whole cheques just go straight to pay off bills and debt. I’m moving an hour and a half away from my friends and family and little sister who means the goddamn world to me! I’m going to be alone.
So yes, I know the stress is killing me slowly. Thank you very fucking much! But unless you have a fucking solution or positive helpful advice FUCK OFF an shut the fuck up!
I’m trying my best to be brave and positive about my fucked up life but inside I’m really dying!
I honestly think I have only ever been this depressed once in my life before…
I ended up in counseling then